Written by Tips for families to cope with close quarters and new routines
By Allison Haslett Ph.D.
“Stay at home” orders have led families to live under unprecedented circumstances. Parents are now wearing all hats – juggling their ability to protect their family from contamination, home school their children, complete their own work, and be there for when their children want to play or need help. Trying to take care of these responsibilities, in addition to the stress of the current world events, is overwhelming. Here are some tips to find calm in the quarantine.
1. Stick to a routine
Be sure to make a schedule for everyday. Write it as a list or draw it in pictures. Determine a consistent time when your child will wake up and when they will start remote learning. Be sure to schedule for recess and lunch breaks and any after school activities that your children are able to participate in virtually (e.g. religious classes, gymnastics, etc.). Aside from virtual learning, schedule time into your day for exercise, family time, creativity, and chores. If needed, set up a reward system to keep your child on-task and motivated to complete their work.
2. Engage in positive activities
Be sure to schedule other positive or fun activities into the day. You or your children can choose an “activity of the day” each morning or the night prior. It will give them something to look forward to and help them learn decision making skills and cooperation. To practice turn taking skills, have your children rotate who chooses the activity for the day. Some inside activities include yoga, army crawl races, jump roping, dance contests, building forts, making jewelry, and creating a treasure hunt. If the weather is manageable, go on a walk or play outside. You can also set up a movie night or game night and prepare for it by baking cookies or a favorite dessert together.
3. Help children cope
Listen to your child’s concerns and validate their feelings. Help children focus on what they can control and predict. Aside from schoolwork, encourage healthy coping by prioritizing healthy eating, exercise, and sleep habits. Try a meditation app with your children. Practice mindfulness by keeping them focused on activities and work they would like to accomplish that day. To enhance their ability to do this, give your child a chore for them to accomplish each day. Make a list of possible chores and let them choose what they would like to do. For example, they could be in charge of unloading the dishwasher, caring for pets, or helping with dinner.
4. Practice problem solving
Use this time to work on enhancing family relationships and communication skills. Moments such as these can bring families together. However, extended periods of close proximity, with the added stress of the current world events, can lead to more frequent arguing among siblings and between children and parents. Stay at peace by practicing problem solving skills: state the problem, brainstorm possible solutions and choose the best solution, implement that solution, then evaluate whether the solution was effective in solving the problem.
5. Focus on the present
Focus on how you and your children are feeling in the moment. Try to be present with your family. Avoid “fortune telling” and imagining worst case scenarios. Take deep breaths. Practice staying positive and hopeful in an unpredictable time.
6. Allow yourself space
Allow yourself space as a parent. Practice self-care. For example, take a walk, connect with a friend or family member, or even try to take a nap or a bath if possible. Allow yourself and your family members time away from coronavirus news and updates. Limit yourself to specific short times to check in daily. For example, check in once in the morning, once around lunch, and once at night. Remember to take things day by day and reach out for help from others when needed.
If you need additional support, please contact us through our website, by email at info@compasspsychnj.com, or by phone at (732) 778-6360. We are currently offering sessions via Telehealth.
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